Just because I'm a healer, experienced in Non-Violent-Communication and personal development, doesn't mean I don't make mistakes in my relationships and my communication. Most of my posts are based on my own experiences and insights over the years. Nobody is perfect, and the great thing about our evolution is that when we learn something, we can share it with others.
Last week, someone I care about deeply and I had divergent opinions about a matter regarding her. It had been bothering me for a while, and I was so convinced of being right, so convinced I knew how to help her, that I just lashed it out on her.
As you can imagine, it didn't turn out well: what I was imposing on her was a form of violence, and was neither respectful of who she was as a person, nor her beliefs and her inner world. I was lashing out a full-fledged attack on her belief system, and of course it backfired immediately.
I can be hard, sometimes, to accept the fact that someone close has a different view of the world. But really, what are we scared of at this moment? What is it that we really want to communicate?
After reflection, I realized that I was worried, and sad, and scared that I would not be heard (and exactly that happened: I didn't get heard, but we both got hurt).
In such a case, it might be best to receive the empathy you so desperately need from a
person who is not involved in the matter, so you can have the discussion with an open heart, rather than a closed mind.
In these difficult corona-times, I have witnessed many people lashing out to each other about what they fiercely believe to be right. In the process, no "side" ends up being heard in their fears and worries, but everyone surely gets hurt. I sincerely believe that the key to solving this problem lies not in our ability to prove who is "right", but in our desire to address everyone's concerns, so we can move forward together.
And you, in which way would you like to be heard? Let me know in the comments!
Audrey